"ON REVOLUTION" FROM A FISTFUL OF DYNAMITE

To quote Rod Steiger's great character Juan Miranda: "I know what I am talking about when I am talking about the revolutions. The people who read the books go to the people who can't read the books, the poor people, and say, 'We have to have a change.' So, the poor people make the change, ah? And then, the people who read the books, they all sit around the big polished tables, and they talk and talk and talk and eat and eat and eat, eh? But what has happened to the poor people? They're dead! That's your revolution. Shhh... So, please, don't tell me about revolutions! And what happens afterwards? The same fucking thing starts all over again!"

THE DIMWIT SWANSONG

Thank god for the parliamentary democracy that we have. Lal Krishna Advani, stand corrected…we are better off in a parliamentary democracy.

The perils of parliamentary democracies are well documented. It’s the presidential ones that are throwing some new light on the relative safety that we have with a functioning or even a semi-functioning multi-party parliament.

Look at US of A for instance. After 8 years of a disastrous Republican presidency, it now has what some will call a semblance of democratic governance with Democrats in charge. And look at the way they have tied themselves in knots over a very commonsensical health reform.

This is what Gore Vidal says in a recent interview and you have to give him some points for this. He says America is “rotting away at a funereal pace. We’ll have a military dictatorship fairly soon, on the basis that nobody else can hold everything together. Obama would have been better off focusing on educating the American people. His problem is being over-educated. He doesn’t realise how dim-witted and ignorant his audience is. Benjamin Franklin said that the system would fail because of the corruption of the people and that happened under Bush.”

Fine, democracy is mostly a swansong before the “dim-witted”. And here’s how we’re better off. We passed the Nuclear Bill, as opposed to Americans banging their heads against the proverbial dimwit wall for health-care reforms.

At times, you have to thank the Mulayams and Amar Singhs of the world.

MAHATMA-THE “OTHER” GANDHI

Here’s how the largest selling Indian pink paper refers to Mahatama. Editorial dated Oct, 12th, 2009.

“The young Gandhi, by his conscious adoption of the garb of aam aadmi, maybe seeking to make the same statement that another Gandhi made by forsaking his lawyer’s suit in 1921 for the handspun loincloth that symbolized the masses of that time.”

Well, at least in the Newspeak, the Ghandy takeover of Gandhi is complete.

Priya Duryodhini would have applauded.

http://www.rakeshjhunjhunwala.in/

http://www.rakeshjhunjhunwala.in/

FUNNIEST INDIAN BLOG EVER....

It took me a long time to be back here and apologies for that. Been busy with bread and butter issues.

Two recent international events forced me to come back and thanks god for that.

For starters, check out the Sep 17^th TIME magazine cover featuring Glenn Beck, a Fox US show charlatan. Incase you want to know more about Glenn Beck, Google or you tube him and some of your notions about Indian TV being infantile will see a new light. He’s our Sansani guy commenting on politics (US..breathe) and draws more viewers than the other three networks combined. Now we know where from our Editor of the hour (TV) derives his inspiration from.

Secondly, after “12 years in bed with Labour”, Sun, Rupert Murdoch’s largest selling UK tabloid has decided to back Tories, in lieu of James Cameron’s support for clipping BBC’s wings and abolishing Ofcom, the British media TV regulator.

Both Sun and Fox are from Murdoch stable.

James Murdoch, by the way is in India these days and will be meeting out I&B minister soon.

Pray….

SASHIKALA, KALAVATI AND ENERGY SECURITY

Speech of the "Prince who waits" on Nuclear deal on 22nd Aug, 08. The genesis of Kalavati phenomenon...

Poverty is directly related to Energy security and I will explain how.

In my speech, I will explain to the hon. Member as to how poverty is directly connected to energy security. Once again, I would request everybody to give me ten minutes and to listen to me for ten minutes. That is all I ask for.

Three days ago, I went to Vidarbha and there, I met a young lady who has three sons. The young lady, Sasikala, a landless labourer, lives with Rs. 60 a day. Her husband who goes to work in a field nearby earns Rs. 90 a day and with the total earning that they make, they have put their three children in a private school. I spent an hour with these people. They live in a slum. I spoke to the sons and I spoke to the mother. The eldest son dreams of becoming a Collector, the middle son dreams of becoming an engineer and the younger son wants to do a private job. When I asked Sasikala as to whether she thinks that her children will be successful or not, she looked at me and said “Absolutely”.

As I was walking out of the House, I noticed that there was no electricity in the house. I told the children that when I was small, I used to study in the evening and how do they study. The children pointed towards a little lamp, a brass lamp that was there. They said, “We study using that lamp.” This problem of energy security reflects itself everyday with all of us; it reflects itself among the poor, like in the house of Sashikala; it reflects itself with industry; and it reflects among all Indians.

(Interruptions)…

Energy effects India; energy effects India’s growth; and energy is responsible for allowing us to grow at nine per cent and that growth is responsible for allowing us to to create programmes to help poor, like those the BJP has done, like the PMGSY; and like those the Congress has done, like the NREGP and guaranteed education.

The point that I am making here is if we do not secure our energy supply into the future, growth will stop and we will not be able to fight poverty which is something that every single Member of this House wants to do. I have said what the problem is. I would go back to Vidharba to see what the solution could possibly be. I would go to the house of another young lady called Kalawati, who had nine children.

(Interruptions)…

I would go back to Vidharba, to the house of Kalawati…

(Interruptions)

would go to the house of Kalawati. I am glad you find that funny. But Kalawati is a person whose husband committed suicide. So, I would urge you to respect her. I would take you to the house of Kalawati, which I also visited three days ago. Kalawati is a woman with nine children whose husband committed suicide three years ago. Her husband committed suicide because he was dependent on only one crop, the cotton crop. When I asked Kalawati as to why her husband committed suicide, her answer was that he was dependent on only one source of income. …

(Interrutions)…

: I asked Kalavati as to what did you do. Kalavati responded by telling me that I diversify …

(Interruptions)…

When I asked the widow lady as to how she resolves her problem, she said that instead of sowing one crop, she now sows three crops. She told me how she bought two buffaloes and now has milk as a source of income. She also told me, most importantly, that she dug a little pond which she fills with water and uses as an insurance policy when it does not rain. So, the answer to our energy problem lie in…

(Interruptions)…

I spoke to two poor families. One of them was called Mrs. Kala…

(Interruptions)…

Mrs. Kala said that she had diversified her income sources and she has used that to stabilize her family and bring up her nine children.

Sir, at the very least, nuclear energy is going to act like Mrs. Kala’s pond and it is going to act as an insurance policy for this country in times of need. At its maximum, nuclear energy is going to act like Mrs. Kala’s main crop.

So, the problem is that the way our nuclear industry is positioned today, it is going to do neither. It is neither going to act as an insurance policy nor is it going to act or have the potential to act as a fundamental source of energy. And, the reason it is not going to do so is because the hands of our scientists, the hands of our establishment are tied; they are tied because they do not have fuel on one hand, and on the other hand they do not have investment and technology.

Sir, I am very proud to say that our Prime Minister Shri Manmohan Singhji has recognized both the problem and a potential solution. But it would be unfair of me not to accept that Shri Vajpayee also saw the problem and also, in his time, worked on the solution…

(Interruptions)…

Now, I have stated and all of us know that there is a problem with regard to our energy security in this country, and that we need to think about it in the long term. It is a problem that all of us need to solve working together.

As I said, senior leaders have also established that the way forward is diversification and reliance on more than one source of energy, a balanced portfolio that includes nuclear, hydrocarbon, solar and wind among others.

But, Sir, it is not enough to identify a problem and a potential solution. The magic of what Shri Manmohan Singhji is doing is that within the problem, he has identified an opportunity that is significantly larger than the problem itself. The opportunity our Prime Minister has identified is based on a simple fact. It is based on the fact that over the next 30-40 years, two countries are going to use the largest bulk of new energy that comes on line. These countries – China and India – have the ability to define the way the world’s energy moves.

Sir, what I am suggesting is that instead of looking at our energy problem as a problem, we start to look at our energy usage as an opportunity. Like a big buyer who goes to any market, we have the ability to shape the global energy industry, and energy is like no other industry in the world. Energy, as I said earlier, is used everywhere, in everything and in every aspect of economic and social life. Energy has destroyed nations and it has built nations.

Our old opponent, the British, grew to their prominence because they control coal. The United States today controls hydrocarbons. It has a large emphasis on hydrocarbons, and we all know how powerful they are. What I am suggesting is that we start to think like a big country, like a powerful country. Instead of worrying about how the world will impact us, we start worrying about how we will impact the world.

Many years ago, this country embarked on a path which many people did not believe in. We developed an industry called, IT industry and the telecom industry. Very few people believed at that time that India would ever play a major role in this industry. Very few people believed that the computer would have anything to do with empowering the poor and with changing the way this country worked. Yet, today all of us together see the impact of the computer. We see the revolutionary impact that IT and communications has had on this country, and it is important that we do not forget this. It is important that we do not forget this because I believe we are at the cross roads, very similar to the cross roads we were at when the decision on IT was to be made.

The decision here is not about three per cent energy or seven per cent energy. It is not about India’s usage of nuclear energy. If we look at the big picture here, it is about whether India can become a global power in a type of energy that is going to be very important in the future. We all know the problems caused by hydrocarbons. We know about pollution.

Earlier, one of the Members asked me to point out what is the connection between energy and poverty. We know the link between us depending on hydrocarbons and prices in India today. Sir, when we think about energy, when we think about nuclear energy, we must think about the poorest in the country. Contrary to what most people believed, when we thought about IT in this country, we were thinking about the poor in this country. It is something that is hard to cross because it is counterintuitive. But one must not underestimate the connections between industry, between energy and between the poor.

Sir, I have taken a lot of time. So, I do not want to go on for ever. But I want to make one last submission. I am very happy this House is now listening to.

The difference between a powerful country and a country that is not powerful and does not have a similar impact on the world stage is that the powerful country thinks about how it will impact the world. The country that is not so powerful thinks about how the world will impact it. , it does not matter which Government runs this country. Many Governments will run this country in the future. But it does matter how we think about our position in the world. What is important is that we stop worrying about how the world will impact us, we stop being scared about how the world will impact us and we step out and worry about how we will impact the world.

Sir, as I said earlier, I speak today not as a Congress person or a Congressman but as an Indian. I would like to say two other things before I conclude. The first is that we are all building this country together. We might have different views about how this country should be built. We might have different opinions on what we should do. But essentially we sit in this room together and we have to solve our problems together. This is what differentiates us and this is what gives us our true power that any voice can be heard in this room, that any voice can disrupt any other voice in this room. I am being serious. It is uncomfortable for me. But I am very proud of it that every voice can be heard in this country.

I would like to conclude by saying two things. The first thing is that we must never, ever let fear be our guide. We must never take decisions based on the fear of the unknown or what is going to happen if we act. We must only act with one rule and that is courage. The second thing I would like to say is that we are a country of a billion people; 70 per cent of us are young. I am old for this country; I am much above the average age. It is important to realise that this country is brimming with confidence and brimming with self-belief. Another point we must never forget when we take decisions as leaders in this country is that we have to believe in that, in our people and we have to have confidence in what we are capable of doing. We have to have confidence in what they are doing.

I think these are guides not only for Congress leaders, these are guides for every single Indian that when you do act, whoever you are, whatever opinion you have, act with courage and act with confidence. With that, together, we can change this country and impact the world.

To conclude, I would like to support our hon. Prime Minister and like to say that he has shown tremendous courage and confidence in the Indian people and I would also like to say and I say this as a youngster from this Party and as a youngster from that Party and all those other Parties that it does not matter what happens here today. What matters is that we start working together and we together try to solve the problems of this country.

I would like to support the motion of the hon. Prime Minister. Thank you very much

KALAVATI CALLING

Wani, a hundred and fifty kilometers from Nagpur, is hardly a constituency to watch out for in the great Maharashtra assembly elections.

But rest assured, Wani will be one of the sideshows not to be missed.

And that’s because it’s the place where the sister of the “Prince who waits” will be contesting from. Not the real one but his Rakhi sister, Kalavati Bandurkar.

Kalavati, became very epitome of the plight of “Aam Aadmi” when the prince visited her home and mentioned her in his Nuclear deal speech in Parliament. A widow from Vidarbha, whose husband Parshuram committed suicide because of crop failures and mounting debts, Kalavati shot to national headlines and some say helped the Prince's party gain some credibility amongst the poverty porn-mongers.

She later visited Delhi to meet the prince and also sent him Rakhi, reciprocating the Prince’s affections and concerns.

Sadly, its not the Prince’s party that has nominated Kalavati to contest the elections, but a local organization called Vidarbha Jan Andolan Samiti.

Kalavati says she wasn’t offered the nomination from the Prince's party, nor did she apply for it.

Shiv Sena and the Prince's party will be contesting for this seat, amongst others.

ANOTHER CASE FOR TRUST INC

The “Editor of the hour” (TV) once asked me a pertinent question. Tell me, he intoned, why should we follow politics? The question was sudden and I blabbered something, incoherent to him and myself.

Later, I found several answers. Not one would suffice on its own. But here is the most important one. We do need to follow politics because it is ruining everything else, social, economical, environmental et al.

Take the case of energy. The Republic’s OMCs are losing to the tune of 450 billion rupees for selling fuels below cost, two-third of which will be compensated by the Union by issuing bonds. Out of these under-recovery (revenue loss), about 170 billion rupees would be on kerosene alone. Another 120 to 130 billion rupees would be on domestic LPG and the remaining 150 to 160 billion would be on account of auto fuels petrol and diesel.

The point to remember here, this comes out of mine and your pockets, poor taxpayer sods.

Fine, given the fact that among other things, ours happen to be a socialist, austere(another constitutional amendment anyone? Action sadly missing on this front since Indiramma, tch tch…), LPG and kerosene subsidies would be impossible to be done away with. But Petrol and diesel?

Very recently, in a survey of five poor countries (Bolivia, Ghana, Jordan, Mali and Sri Lanka), the IMF concluded that richer households received a disproportionate share of the benefits from price caps, with the bottom 40% receiving just 15-25% of subsidies. "For every unit of resources transferred to the poorest households, three to five or more units are transferred to better-off households", it says.

"Countries should pass through increases in world oil prices, both to preserve economic efficiency and avoid excessive fiscal costs." That might be politically unpopular, but the issue is "critical, because oil importers are facing greater financing requirements as a result of the negative terms-of-trade shock they are suffering", it goes on to add.

Another pressing argument for the Ministry of Faith, Trust Inc had closed down its 1,400 retail outlets by mid-2008, unable to compete with the state-owned firms' subsidized prices.

WHY REPUBLIC NEEDS TRUST INC

Some disclaimers before i begin...I'm not rooting for the Trust Inc(Even as i was employed by one of the few "Communication" initiatives of the Inc in the near past). Neither for the Renegade one. It just so happens my last job entailed covering the Republic's energy security at times and i loved it(This piece is about energy, dumbo!).

{Incase you need some energy, Try Red Bull, not Red Dragon. It gives you wings.}

And yes, please do not confuse the Republic with the Union. The Union is the one which meets every thursday or friday, ostensibly to decide upon the Republic's functioning. The Sardar heads it. Republic, meanwhile, is just an amalgamation of a hell lot of states, languages, religions, castes, creeds and everything else under the sun...

OK. Now here are a list of reasons why the Republic needs Trust Inc(Forget free rides for the Queen Bee and her son, The Prince who waits). Also do forget the Suitcases.

The Republic is scared shitless of the Dragon Next Door. Its gobbling up the energy pie worldwide and the Republic can't do nothing about it.

A. June 2009: Sinopec beat off competition from Korea National Oil Corporation to take over Canada-listed Addax Petroleum, for $7.24bn – securing more of west Africa and a bit of Iraq. The assets include Kurdistan's 40,000 barrels a day Taq Taq field, which started producing at the start of June.

B.July 2009: National Iranian Oil Company has scrapped Total's $4.7bn contract to develop phase 11 of the South Pars gasfield, choosing CNPC (China National Petroleum Corporation) instead.

C. Addax's assets include acreage in the prized Joint Development Zone (JDZ) offshore Nigeria and São Tomé e Princípe. Last month, CNOOC(China National Offshore Oil Corp) and Sinopec said they would buy a 20% stake in an offshore oil block in Angola from the US' Marathon Oil for $1.3bn.

D. China is also expanding throughout South America. CNPC(China National Petroleum Corporation) was reported to have offered to pay up to $14.5bn for 75% of YPF, an Argentine oil and gas company majority owned by Spain's Repsol; CNOOC was supposedly interested in a 25% share. A full-buyout seems improbable, however. For one thing, it would require the co-operation of Argentina's Petersen Group, which last year bought 15% of YPF from Repsol and has an option to buy a further 10%.

E. CNPC is planning to bid for two Venezuelan oil blocks in a partnership with Total. Earlier this year, China extended a $10bn line of credit to Brazil's Petrobras in order to gain access to future oil supplies. Other recent loan-for-oil deals include a $4bn line of credit extended to Venezuela's PdV; a $1bn loan to Sonangol, Angola's NOC; and a $25bn transaction under which the China Development Bank is lending $15bn to Russia's state-owned Rosneft and $10bn to the Russian crude-oil pipeline monopoly, Transneft, in return for 1.1bn barrels of oil to be produced over the next two decades from fields in eastern Siberia.

OK. Trust Inc, we love you. And we love your plans to look beyond KG and Ministry of Trust. We need you, plain and simple.

Someone get me a Red Bull please.

Just In: Trust Inc is raising $880 million to acquire Petroleum assets overseas.

Attaboy....

A GAS STORY

It can easily be labelled as the Minstry of Trust. Purveyor in chief of Trust Inc at the high pulpit of the Union. And now Trust Inc has a new issue to grapple with. It has just been accused by the renegade one of fleecing the Union's fertilser and power producers with something called a marketing levy, a term not much in parlance in the usual Corpspeak but has a striking parallel to another instance from the past where the Union was fleeced.
Not so long time ago, Union, in an attempt to brighten its darker territories, invited Enron to build a $3 billion gas based power plant in Dahol, Maharashtra. The darker parts still remain without much light, the Union's attempts notwithstanding. But what remains with me is a statement from Enron's former Chief Executive, the honey-blond Rebecca Marc. She admitted to having spent $28 million on "education fund" for indian politicians.
Now, let's connect the dots. What is this "Marketieng" levy in a marketplace where the Union decides who gets what from the Trust Inc's "basin/bin" and in what quantity? Why a "Marketing" levy when there is no mention of it in the contract signed between the Union and Trust Inc? And why a "Marketing" levy when it is the Union's Empowered ones deciding who all are entitled to partake in the "basin/bin's" produce?
Here is a marketing levy when no marketing is concerned. In Enron's instance, an education fund, where the only ones educated are the ones who can teach a lesson or two to the likes of Marcos' and Suhartos.
The Ministry of Trust of the Union (Not to be confused with Trust Inc) says it has not allowed any marketing levy to be charged. The Union meanwhile, continues to be fleeced twice over. On one level, its getting no share of this marketing levy, on another, the producers keep getting subsidised by the Union of the higher prices because of the levy charged.
Nice cozy arrangement, this.
Marketing levy,Education fund, i keep getting confused....

On Austerity

समाजवाद बबुआ, धीरे-धीरे आई

समाजवाद उनके धीरे-धीरे आई

हाथी से आई

घोड़ा से आई

अँगरेजी बाजा बजाई, समाजवाद...

नोटवा से आई

बोटवा से आई

बिड़ला के घर में समाई, समाजवाद...

गाँधी से आई

आँधी से आई

टुटही मड़इयो उड़ाई, समाजवाद...

काँगरेस से आई

जनता से आई

झंडा से बदली हो आई, समाजवाद...

डालर से आई

रूबल से आई

देसवा के बान्हे धराई, समाजवाद...

Gorakh "Austere" Pandey, Bhojpuri poet